The Million Dollar Question

Seems like everyone has this kostin nowadays.. "The search has just begun!!!" - What is that mean. I would forgive people for thinking its about a gal at first, but even people close to me sometimes wonder.. Whats in a name? But I have a story to tell... so listen mite (yeah yeah, i love everything aussie after their defeat.. so cool!)

It all started when I landed in this country. How am I to know that my initials stands as a source for giggles here? So, during the orientation (aka ragging), I was christined RA. That nick, 7 yrs down the line, still is recognised in my university campus, which is quite a surprise in itself. Anywayz, it all started when I got my computer barely into the new millenium. My friend kindly 'volunteered' to fix my comp up for a humble token of a cigarette pack and a night of watching 'popular' movies on my flat screen monitor. When he was setting it up (and I knew nuts abt computers back then), he asked me to give a name for the computer. My instinct told me RA, but my creativity wanted to expand it. Expand, I did.. Thus it became Random Access. And ofcourse, it needed a computer description. I thot for a second to get a phrase with a bit of correlation. There it was.. "The search has just begun !!!". Whatever made me write those 2 things at the dead of the night made a lot of sense later on...

Random Access became hugely popular. It became the pen-name for my poetry as well. It gel-ed in nicely with the kind of carefree attitude that I seemed to possess. It became synonymous with my supposedly random poetry. It became the lifeline of the indian forum that we had. It became a source of inspiration. It became the talk of the university. But more was to come. I got to know about chatting and went into ICQ. There was only 4 Random Access at that time, but thanks to ICQ for giving a number than an unique id, I was able to keep my favorite. This nick alone was so popular among gals (I wonder why!) that a lot of gals added me into their lists. A lot of people were jealous of the fact, and some named me "ladies' man" just like Ms. V's latest nick for me :) I never imagined the nick was so powerful! Needless to say, its been with me for the last 7 yrs and I have kinda grown fond of it. It kinda gave me an identity that people were able to map to. As recently as today, I got a comment saying it ties in well to my memory prowess (or the lack of it).

The second part of my online signature ("The search has just begun") was just instinctive, but something I have grown to love and respect. This talks a lot abt me and the way I am too. I, like a true saggi, is driven my curiosity to wander out there in search of knowledge. Many times I have been stumped by the fact that there are so many things out there in this world to be learnt that 24 hrs aint enuf in a day. And there is just no limit to the depth of knowledge that you can acquire. This kinda explains the fact that I am probably a jack of all trades, but the master of none. I also realised that its the fact of life, that there is always a search.. both inside and outside of us, that keeps us going.. in pursuit of the unknown. This has really made my signature meaningful, so I decided to stick on. To add spice, I sometimes tie down my sign to the context (esp in my poems, if u have noticed). And contrary to expectations, the search never ends, as the end of one quest is merely a beginning of another!

So there u go.. now gimme those million dollars ;)

Random Access
The search has just begun !!!

Fate

"Its fate.." is what we get to hear a lot of times.. from ur family, friends and even us... now what is fate?

Fate is our friend... We dont know fate till we are in the stage where we run around. Fate plays games with us. We always want to prove ourself against fate and make us the winners. However, we lose almost all the time. This might make some of us disillusioned. We elevate fate to be the invincibles and most of us just give up on our prowess to wrest the advantage from it. However, some of us take defeat on our shoulders and keep improving with every game. We may not master the game, neither understand our opponent, but we can keep improving our skills. There comes the time when the odd victory stares at us. And what do we do? We attribute it to LUCK :P

So in other words, all of us are inherently self-abstracting.. we dont want credit for our victories nor blame for our failures. We want other entities to suffer. Do u realise the invaluable friendship that fate brings to our lives and how we conveniently blame it for everything? A true friend is one who gives unto thee without expecting anything in return. They even shoulder ur ill spat but still continue to be with u and guide u along the right path, however hard or harsh their words might seem! Embrace fate, acknowledge reality and live ur life! Then u will be surprised tht u can take almost anything that fate seems to throw at us and whack it for a six!

Random Access
The search has just begun !!!

Shame on us!

I have always been a proud Indian. And I have always respected women and gals for what they are. A lot of my guy friends think of me as an online casanova, but I guess only those gals who I have interacted with, who can give the right answer. Anywayz, coming to the point, I have been totally disgusted and depressed the last week or so, when I have come across a series of posts like this and this triggered by the Blank Noise Project. Trust me, I have never been as ashamed of my country and fellow brothers like what I did recently. I wudnt like to bypass the serious issue by saying I am the goody goody guy and others are to blame. I believe responsibility lies with all of us, even though only a sparse few might be causing these disgusting acts. I wud have been even ashamed to bring up these posts to public, but this attitude, I realised through those authors, is what has been preventing the scale of this social evil to seem lesser than what it actually is. And looking at the alarming rate at which I hear girls say "yes" to the simple question posed (and I havent heard one "no" till now) is making me freak out. Worse still, its almost always followed by the casual after-comment "Its so common, why are u making a fuss out of it now". This nonchalant reply completely bewilders me and sends a chill down my spine, thinking of gals, young and old, prone to the vested interests of, shame on us, men. I dont believe in reporting things and keeping quiet. The next time I see any person doing such "roadside romeo" tactics (pi, if u ever read this, doesnt refer to u da), I am gonna take it up personally, irrespective of the consequences. After all, India is a land where a woman is treated more than God! And I will do my best to make it stay that way. And those guys whom I know who are already on the wrong side of things, better beware. I cant take an insult on my motherland, and every woman who makes up my motherland, so better think twice before crossing the line with a gal!

Random Access
The search has just begun !!!

Mother of all Games !!!

This is by far the most spectacular game I have witnessed... I am happy that I kinda pushed 3-4 people into watching it as well... If you have missed out, u sure have missed out an opportunity of a lifetime buddy! Anywayz, it was totally engrossing and nailbiting than anything else I have ever witnessed. Trust me, I am a die hard fan of South Africa from today (except ofcourse when they play India), but they were just too good. Amazing is an unpretentious understatement for their game. The sheer mammoth total (not often do u see 870 runs in a one day game!) followed my blistering attack and counterattacks, the setbacks, the fightbacks... juz too good. To be honest, there can be only one winner, and thankfully it was the team that deserved it (unlike the World cup campaigns - the 22 runs in 1 ball fallacy and the tie win, for those who know what I am talkin about). That they beat Australia is an icing on the cake. Just too good !!! Screw those baskets who kept bleating that South Africa have never won a series against them.. This was just the kind of statement that cricket is all about. No kings or pawns. Its all about how good u r on that day... And South Africa, dented by Pollock's absense, really meant business, atleast in the latter half of the match!

Even though I only followed the scores online, thank god I got to follow it live !!! Whatta match! You only witness these things once in a life (like watchin the Schumi massacre in 2004) and this is definitely one of them! Hats off South Africa! You juz did it!

Random Access
The search has just begun !!!

You made my day!

Somethings do make our day special.. Ofcourse, here is my top 10 (no no not a tag..please...) that brought a smile to me recently... no rating.. just numbers...

1. Seeing J after a long time.
2. Ms. A's prayers inspite of her personal tribulations
3. A mention by sukku
4. Preethi taking away WV.. yeah word verification, ur ardent fan has ditched u.
5. Ms. V reaching 100 posts.
6. Me getting my dream job sort of.
7. A chance to resurrect my cricketing career with my new company
8. A chance to see and hear APJ AK
9. Got to meet up with an old skool mate.
10. When I finally got my first Java component working

Random Access
The search has just begun !!!

A beautiful relationship...

Its not often that I dont find words, let alone finding the right words. Its often in ur most difficult of times do u find ur best of friends.. or so they say. I was in a middle of a crisis when she came into my life, to conduct a little background check. Countless hours of talking and chatting later, we were the best of friends. Ignorant of the constant heckling of friends, I came to know about the intricate world of the feminine mind through her. And then she wanted it to be a bit more...

A joyful beginning paved way for the narrowing of distances. Timed whizzed by and I started getting blur... I knew she was next to me, holding my hand.. One fine day, she said she wanted some space... I gave her some. I knew she was nearby, I could hear her voice.. I became blind...And then she wanted some time alone... I was reluctant but I was confident, and had to yield. I knew she would come back.. to hold me and walk me through.. I waited.. I pondered.. I construed. I hallucinated. I wished. And then she came back. I knew it. I always knew it. A year hence, I cud hear her. I wanted to proceed. Then she said the time has come... I was overjoyed.

She slowly peeled away my bandage. I was blur at first. Then I was able to see. I could see! There she was, with him... A tear streaked across from my eyes. The glaring light, I mused. I hid my face to be comforted by the darkness. There was none. Take a pill, she insisted. I knew I can never get cured. People laughed and cursed and advised and bullied and made a joke. How will they ever know? Things always change, but some things dont.

Then it was time for her to leave. She said goodbye. I thot abt holding her back, but did I ever have a choice? She wanted me to stay in touch, but I just smiled and said I wouldnt disturb her. She understood that I finally understood and sighed in relief. She went her way. Away.

Now I cud see, but I was still a bit blur. I turned to find a smiling face offering me a helping hand. I was hesitent, but the smile seemed genuine. I prayed to God, and held that hand. Never to let go.

There are many unforgettable memories in life, some brings a smile, others a tear. But in my life, she features in more than one of them. And sometime this month, she is joining hands with him... With a tinge of sadness engulfing my heart, I hereby bid farewell... may God bless her, cos she indeed was one of my best friends!

Random Access
The search has just begun !!!

Se7en

Seven seas? Seven continents? Seven days? Seven worlds? ....

Whether people are ruled by numbers are open to debate, especially among the folks who hasnt realised it first hand. But I am a guy who has been brought up with as much examples of numbers as anything else. Being fascinated by them from a very young age, I am always on the look out for nice numbers. If there is one guy smiling at a car number plate 9369 or 9786, it might be me. A simple example is my mom, who was born on Sep 21, married on Oct 21, joined her (only) job on Nov 21, when she was 21 yrs, her son born on kaarthigai 21, married her daughter on May 21, resigned her job on Feb 21, her son joined his first job on Jul 21, and a bit more that I tend to have forgotten.

Everyone tends to be ruled by numbers, and you would be in awe, if only you cared to stop and look at it. I am myself ruled by 6, but for the last coupla years, my life has taken the 7 route. Needless to mention, it was due to a person ruled by number 7. From the date I met the person (16th), I have felt its influence on all the major activities in my life. Though 6 and 7 dont have that much of a chemistry between them, it has really sparked between the two of us.

OK, now to the crux of the matter. After 7 weeks of job search, where there were severe doubts on my sanity, and offers that were interleaved, making me akin to a gambler in terms of playing my cards right to get the best possible outcome, and rejecting the likes of Mahindra British Telecom, Strategem Technologies, Deutsche Bank, Microsoft, SCS, Credit Suisse First Boston, I have decided to take up my 7th offer with Barclays Capital. Thanks for all the prayers, guidance and well wishes from a lot of quarters, and equally so the screams, the tensions, the doubts, the questions, the advices and the bashings that made me more circumspect than i usually am, I think Im finally in the right path towards achieving my long term goals. Incidentally, I set foot on the 7th of the 7th month 7 yrs back in this country. Needless to say, Im in seventh heaven! And thank you, Ms. 7 ;)

Now off to 7-Eleven to celebrate!

PS: Thanks for all your concerned remarks in the previous post! I might have made it a bit blur, but heres the news. Yes, it was abt my job and my offer was withdrawn, but due to "exceptional circumstances" and after a high level meeting, it was decided that my case seemed to a "honest mistake", whatever that is, and a new offer was given to me today. After being given a 0.1% success rate yday, its a huge sigh of relief. Surely more things are wraught by prayers than the world dreams of :) So, from monday, I am no longer a velai illa pattadhari... :P After 1 month in the gutters, its gonna be bak to hectic life..donno to laff or cry, but it definitely a smile to others! And trust me, honesty is definitely the best policy... though very costly :P

Random Access
The search has just begun !!!